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May 11, 2005

Can I Bust? :Kohl’s

Finger found in Kohl’s dessert

Be glad it wasn't his dick, now that would have been some funny shit.
It could happen


Dick found in Kohl's dessert

Soon after Steve B found the dick in a mouthful of chocolate soft-serve he bought Sunday at Kohl's Frozen Custard, he put it in his freezer at home, taking it out only occasionally to lick and suck it. He refused to give it to the shop's owner, and refused to give it to a doctor who was treating Mark, who accidentally stuck his dick in a mixing machine and had his dick lopped off above his nut sack. Medical experts say an attempt to reattach a severed dick can generally be made within six hours of said dick cuttage, anything after that would cause server shrinkage.

But according to the shop's management, Steve wouldn't give it back when he was in the store 30 minutes after the accident. "The general manager attempted to retrieve it and rush it to the hospital," reads a statement posted Thursday on Kohl's Web site. "Unfortunately, the customer refused to give it to her and declared that he would be calling his family and friends as he mad a quick get away with the dick in his mouth.

Doctors said once Steve took the dick home and froze it, it was too late to even try for reattachment. "You can't freeze a dick. It kills the cells and damage muscles," The doctor said the best way to preserve a severed dick is to wrap it in saline-soaked gauze, place it in a plastic bag and store that in ice water. Taking it out every 30 seconds to stroke or suck, keeping it hard for reattachment.

posted by Blackfoot at Wednesday, May 11, 2005

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