So You Thinks You's A Pimp?

Being a pimp requires hard work, patience, and skill. Not everyone is cut out to be a professional pimp. Also, you should want to be a pimp for the right reasons. To see if you're a good candidate, please take a quick Pimp Quiz:


Why do you want to be a pimp?

a) All my friends are doing it.
b) My mom told me to.
c) I want to do more than just major in biochemistry.
d) Been slappin' and tappin' for years, might as well get paid.

What would you like to be doing on Friday nights?
a) Spending time with my friends.
b) Hanging out at the mall.
c) Getting that physics problem set out of the way.
d) Hittin' bitches 'till the cops come!

A customer enters your whorehouse and sees you wearing...

a) Long sleeve shirt, jeans, sneakers (Puma’s or SAO.), Dallas cowboys hat.
b) Polo shirt, Docker khackis, Tommy socks.
c) Armani suit and dress shoes.
d) Flaming red shirt, tight lime green pants, bright purple trenchcoat, top hat, cane, fur, and gold a' plenty.

You're out for some driveby whoop-ass. You hop in your Pimpmobile...
a) Black HUMMER with 24-inch BLACK chrome rimes.
b) Beige '88 Datsun with power locks.
c) Steel grey BMW with Aquatred tires.
d) Vibrant Cadillac with gold rims, hydraulics, driver-side mounted shotgun, and ceiling-mounted jimmy dispenser.

Say you have an altercation with a threatening person of subnormal intelligence. You...

a) Say "Come on man, …"ain’t that Janet Jackson" And run like a madman.
b) Try to change the subject: "Did you think Episode I was better than Star Wars: Return of the Jedi?"
c) Explain to him he needs to break out of the viscous circle (jerk) of anger and violence.
d) Slap, tell him about his mama, pop a cap in his ass an' and torch the body.