Joe Kletz. Can I Bust?

Big announcement: SMEAR CAMPAIGN GETS 5TH MEMBER!



Now you may be asking yourself, "Myself, who would actually agree to join that band and put up with all of their shit?" Well........Ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce you to our newest family member- our new manager "STEPMOM" Karen Casey! Yep, last night over a beer Karen decided to help at the reigns of this wild wild rock and roll stagecoach. She will be helping us book shows and she will be in charge of our dealings with CD producer Paul Van Cleave and our artist extraordinaire Joe "STOOPID" Kletz. God bless her patient, patient soul.

Columbia College Writing center. Chicago
Yet another member of the "classic" Tutor Training course of fall 1995, Joe was our resident cartoonist; in fact, many tutors remarked that they knew they "made it" in the center when they were lampooned by one of Joe's drawings. Joe entered his sessions clothed in punk garb and a genuine desire to help every student he met to succeed. A coffee specialist, Joe made the WC highlight reel when he presented at the 1999 NWCA Conference with a head of green hair. Joe's new full-time gig is in a design office located, fortunately for his throngs of fans, near the CCCWC.

Chain Mail Narrative CORPSE

It's all bout you Joe Kletz.



Joe Kletz Space. Here's a sample from his blog. Notice how he always starts with "Dear Blog". Isn’t it strange?

Dear Blog

I know it's been awhile since I wrote to you. Sorry. I've been busy. I was in Vegas for a Punk Rock Bowling tournament and then took a few road trips to Chicago so I've been away from computers for a bit. Plus, I've been busy at work (which is usually when I write to you because A: I have little to do there and B: even if I do have something to do I'm kind of a slacker). But I'm back now.

I was going to write to you last week. I had the whole letter worked out in my mind. It was all about how rad it is to come home form the bar, a little drunk, eat a bacon-cheeseburger and watch Sharky's Machine on AMC.

That's the condensed version. I forgot all the little details that would have made it a stellar entry because I was drunk and eating a bacon-cheeseburger and completely transfixed by Burt Renyolds' mustache in Sharky's Machine.

Since I forgot that stuff I've decided to write about Junk Mail. Specifically Junk Electronic-Mail (or email as the kids say).

I've got myself an Electronic Mailbox. One of the "folders" in that mailbox collects what the Electronic Postal Service identifies as "junk". Now just between you and me, I wouldn't necessarily call this some of this stuff "junk". Why, who wouldn't want LowMortgageRate$ or CheePonlineMEds?

These are deals!

Sometimes, though, disturbing message come through. Messages about herbal supplements for my dirty parts. Things to make them larger or stronger or even thicker (we're talking Pringles Can here). I want nothing to do with this.

Lately however, those offers have slowed down. I am now inundated with the following messages:

L00king for aF..ckFriend (Jill Tombs)
your special f..ckFriend (Kim Corely)
you need a F*ckFriend (I am Easy )
will you be my f..ckFriend? (Amy Stewart)
you need me to be f..ckFriend (Just ForSex69 )
I am your f..ckFriend (Samantha Hines)
and
Find you f..ckFriend 2nite (GetTheAction)

First off, some of those ladies have some really weird names. All that aside, I must say I am flattered. And a tiny bit interested.

But I have to pass.
I know this breaks your collective hearts girls, and for that I'm sorry.
Perhaps my (non f..ck)friend Blog would like to meet you.

I'd only disappoint you gals. Plus, you all are soooo out of my league.

Joe
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